


is there a heaven? ('cause the devil is raging inside my mind)

by Eternal_Peace_is_Overrated



Series: sunlit lovers [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Dead David "Dave" Katz, Fluff, Ghost David "Dave" Katz, Klaus Hargreeves & David "Dave" Katz During Vietnam, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Klaus and Dave in Vietnam, M/M, Mentioned Ben Hargreeves, Mentioned Diego Hargreeves, Minor Original Character(s), No Apocalypse, Not Beta Read, POV David "Dave" Katz, Post-Canon Fix-It, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Softie David "Dave" Katz, Southern David "Dave" Katz, They're cute guys, Veteran Klaus Hargreeves, Vietnam War, idk why but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:19:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28107666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Peace_is_Overrated/pseuds/Eternal_Peace_is_Overrated
Summary: He loves Klaus with every inch of his being, and the craziest part is that Klaus loves him, too, maybe even more than himself (there’s ice around Klaus’s heart, solid and impenetrable, but Dave has somehow managed to get past it, to settle into the warmth and brightness and he hopes, someday, he’ll figure out how to melt it).It’s both terrifying and exhilarating, being the center of Klaus’s world (even though Dave is pretty sure Klaus is the center of the whole goddamn universe).The span of Dave’s entire life has narrowed down tomaybeandsomeday, and it’s not as scary as it should be.(Dave doesn’t know it yet, but heismelting the ice around Klaus’s heart. There’s a fissure now, and flowers are starting to grow in it, young and tentative and struggling to bloom, but vibrant and vivacious andbeautiful.)*Or, the story of how Dave fell in love for the first (and last) time.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Series: sunlit lovers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063607
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	is there a heaven? ('cause the devil is raging inside my mind)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! Okay, I've been working not his one for a while. Genuinely, I am not sure why it took me so long. It's only 4K words but man was I struggling with them!
> 
> I'm happy with how... _most_ of this turned out; of course there are some parts I don't love, too, but there wasn't much more I could do to fix those particular parts. 
> 
> Please leave a kudos and a comment on your way out. They fuel me! Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this and I hope you enjoy! 💖

you’re in love with a boy

who is a prayer on your lips

with no god to go to.

he’s bleeding sunlight and

you’re trying to patch up

the holes in his heart

with trembling fingers

and the blood keeps 

spilling.

you’re in love with him,

here’s the best part:

he loves you more 

than his own life.

he’s golden as they come

but he’s bleeding out.

one day, someone will

strike a match on him

and he’ll explode.

so, here’s the worst part:

he loves you so much

more than his own life.

(Credit: m.j. pearl [sunlit lovers](https://fairytalesques.tumblr.com/post/112837374630/youre-in-love-with-a-boy-who-is-a-prayer-on-your) )

*

Klaus crashes into Dave’s life on a hot summer night. 

Dave has just settled, sweat slick skin sticking uncomfortably to his bedding, splayed across his cot in nothing but his pants to try and counter the oppressive heat that’s taken over their camp. 

He feels the pull of sleep, feels his body go lax as his mind begins to drift, but the pleasant haze is bulldozed over by a bright flash of blue light and a string of garbled curses. 

Dave blinks uncomprehendingly at the man who’s just- who’s just _teleported_ into their tent, finds himself meeting watery green eyes that are staring intently at him, wide with confusion. 

Neither of them get a chance to say anything before the bombs hit, and the world narrows down to _runhideevadeshootrepeat._

Dave isn’t even sure the newbie survived, not until he sees him again on the bus.

He makes his way over and offers up a kind smile. “You just get to the country?” 

The newbie blinks owlishly at him and smiles absently, folding his trembling hands delicately into his lap. “Oh,” he says distantly, like he didn’t hear a word Dave said. “Yeah.” He bobs his head, helmet nearly slipping right off at the motion. 

“Shits crazy, I know,” Dave tries to soothe. “Don’t worry, you’ll adjust.” He holds out a hand. “I’m Dave.” 

The newbie tracks the movement before offering one slender hand, warm fingers curling around Dave’s palm and it seems to ignite something in the other man- his smile grows brighter and his eyes find and settle on Dave’s with startling intensity, fingers tightening enough for Dave to feel the strength in them. 

Dave loses himself for a moment, falls headfirst into the other man’s kohl-lined eyes, tumbles into a different time ( _he’s sixteen and he’s realizing he maybe doesn’t like girls all that much, and James has such pretty green eyes_ ), but between one blink and the next he’s back, sitting in their shitty bus on their way to their next shitty camp, surrounded by men who would more than likely beat him to death than welcome him if he was ever found out. 

_Oh,_ Dave thinks, unable to tear his eyes away from the beautiful man in front of him with the sad eyes and the sunshine smile. 

“Klaus,” the newbie _\- Klaus-_ says, and doesn’t let go of Dave’s hand. 

_Oh no_. 

*

Klaus falls into place in their unit like he belongs there, a missing piece they didn’t know they were missing (or maybe that’s just Dave). 

He embodies manic energy; he flits from one topic to the next so quickly that none of them ever really know what he’s talking about and he never sits still, like he’s afraid the ground might swallow him up if he does.

No one knows where he came from and the answer always changes, somehow getting more and more outlandish every time he’s asked. 

Between that and the mysteriously missing dog tags, the boys are quick to start up a betting pool (some of them even questioning whether or not Klaus is actually his name), but Dave politely declines joining. 

What should be the strangest thing about Klaus, though, isn’t actually all that strange out here, not really (if they were stateside, he’d never see the light of day again). 

It takes Dave a couple of weeks to notice, and even then he only does because Jackson points it out. 

“Hey, Hargreeves,” Jackson calls across the campfire, and Klaus hums and turns to face him, body angled slightly towards the empty spot beside him. “Who’re you talking to?” 

Klaus opens his mouth to answer, brows furrowed in confusion, before all the color drains from his face and he turns to look back at the spot. 

“Oh,” he says, very quietly, and then he’s gone. 

“Nice one, Jackson. Way to call the kid out,” someone mutters- Dave isn’t sure who, too focused on Klaus’s retreating form to care. 

“What?!” Jackson immediately gets defensive. “It ain’t like that’s outta the ordinary ‘round here, I was just wondering!” 

Dave tunes the rest out, pushing himself to his feet and following Klaus into their tent, plopping onto the ground beside him.

He leans back against the cot and then tugs out a cigarette and a lighter, lighting it up and offering it to Klaus. 

Klaus takes it with shaky fingers and inhales the smoke greedily. “I’m not crazy,” he mumbles, and Dave raises a brow. 

“Never said you were,” he says mildly. 

Klaus doesn’t say anything, and Dave sighs and turns to face him. 

“Klaus. You really think havin’ a chat with someone we ain’t seein’ makes you crazy? Out here, nothing is crazier than what’s going on in the trenches. You’re talkin’ to air, so what? We’ve seen plenty worse, and what you’re doing isn’t hurting anybody.” 

Klaus hums, taking another drag from the cigarette, but his shoulders have loosened and his hands aren’t shaking quite so badly. 

“Four,” he says suddenly, and Dave blinks in confusion. 

“Pardon?” 

“Number Four,” Klaus repeats. “It’s my legal name.” 

Dave barks out a laugh, but Klaus just smiles, tight and pained, and with a dawning sense of dread, Dave realizes he...isn’t joking.

“I- seriously?” 

Klaus hums again and murmurs absently, “I wonder who won the bet?” He pushes himself to his feet. “Sure hope it wasn’t you, Katz.” He smiles cheerily, but there’s something dark and haunted lingering behind his eyes. “My feelings would be hurt.” 

Dave doesn’t get the chance to say anything, doesn’t even really know what he would say if he did, before Klaus is wandering off again, slipping through the flaps of the tent with a wink.

Dave doesn’t go after him.

*

Klaus, they’ve discovered, _loves_ to tell stories- outlandish and completely unbelievable stories about superheroes and superpowers and world ending, time traveling villains with just enough personal, quirky little details to leave everyone questioning if they’re _just_ stories. 

Dave doesn’t think they are. 

Oh, they’re entirely insane, but he still remembers how Klaus popped into the tent that night and thinks- he thinks _maybe…._

Well. If they _are_ true, Dave doesn’t want to spend too much time thinking about them. 

But sometimes Klaus will be talking and then he’ll freeze, sudden and silent, eyes getting watery and distant; Dave’s chest _aches_ when he looks like that, like the world has just found a few more pieces of his heart to break and he’s surprised by how much it still hurts. 

Tonight, Klaus is telling a story about some knife wielding vigilante named Diego; he’s turned his head to the empty spot to his left, mouth open to tell it- _something_ , when it happens. 

His breath catches in his chest and then he stops breathing all together, fingers tightening into white knuckled fists on his thighs, eyes going empty and wet as they stare at the air beside him, entire body going still. 

The boys scatter immediately- they’ve sat around the fire and done this every night since Klaus joined them, and they’ve all learned better than to stick around. 

Dave’s heart clenches but he doesn’t say anything, just rests a hand on Klaus’s bare shoulder and resolutely ignores the warmth of his skin underneath his palm. 

He waits. 

Sometimes, it only takes a few seconds for Klaus to come back. Sometimes, it can take minutes or even hours. 

They’ve been sitting for maybe fifteen when Klaus suddenly shivers and shudders his way back to the present. 

“I had a brother named Ben,” he starts hoarsely, and Dave stays silent, letting him talk (it’s rare, Dave’s noticed, that Klaus will talk about important things. He never stops talking, but he’s very good at saying a lot without really saying anything at all). “He was-” Klaus laughs brokenly. “God, he was the _worst_ . He was always nagging on me, always telling me how much _better_ I could do, always trying to convince me to go home and Christ, he never _shut up_ . Anything he could do to annoy me, he did.” Klaus stares, unseeing, into the fire. “I loved him so goddamn much. And I never got to say it. I thought about it, obviously, but suddenly I was-” _here_ , Dave’s mind supplies. “Y’know. And I never got the chance.” 

Dave smiles past the lump in his throat and squeezes Klaus’s shoulder. “Sounds like he probably knew, Klaus.” 

“What?” Klaus blinks owlishly at him, eyes wide and glassy, firelight reflecting in his dilated pupils. There’s hardly any green left, and Dave idly wonders when he even had time to get anything. 

Dave swallows heavily, cheeks heating under Klaus’s intense gaze (he’s never had someone look at him like this before, with complete wholehearted attentiveness and fire in their eyes and it ignites something warm in his chest and sets butterflies free in his belly). 

“He probably knew,” Dave repeats hoarsely. Somehow, his voice doesn’t break. 

Klaus doesn’t say anything, dark eyes searching Dave’s and Dave can’t look away, trapped and hopelessly drawn in (later, he’ll realize he never stood a chance, not against this). 

There’s a bead of sweat dripping down Klaus’s temple and his hair has grown out enough that it’s starting to curl at the ends. His pupils are too wide, and his hands are trembling. Dave is tempted to reach out, let his fingers trace the muscle of his jaw, the hollows of his cheeks, the strong line of his nose. His eyes track the movement of Klaus’s tongue as it darts out to wet his dry lips and then roam back to Klaus’s eyes just in time to catch them darting back up to Dave’s and there’s really nothing about this moment that should be charged, but somehow it feels more intimate than anything Dave has ever done with another person. 

Klaus leans closer, lips parting slightly and Dave unconsciously does the same and they’re close, _so close_ -

Sanders drops his pack loudly onto the ground between them and suddenly Dave is standing, heart beating rapidly in his chest. 

Klaus hasn’t moved from his languid sprawl, long limbs draped over one another and he lights up a cigarette, eyes burning into Dave’s. 

“You’re up for night watch, Katz,” Sanders says, staring just a little too intently at Dave. 

“Got it,” Dave chokes out and then, like the coward he is, he flees.

*

Almost a month after Klaus joins them, they get a two-day leave in Saigon. 

Dave is watching Klaus dance, nursing his fourth (fifth? sixth? ) drink, and between one blink and the next, they’re alone behind a beaded curtain. 

Klaus is laughing, a glass of amber something held loosely in his fingers; his eyes are absolutely _stunning_ tonight, kohl lined and bright with alcohol. He’s leaning against the wall, shirt riding up to reveal the barest hint of pale skin, body angled towards Dave’s. His hair is a tousled mess, like he’s spent the night running his fingers through it. 

He’s loose limbed and doe eyed, all perfectly angular lines and languid movements, and his smile is so bright and carefree that it could light the whole damn room. 

_Beautiful_ , Dave thinks distantly, fingertips moving to trace the sharp line of Klaus’s jaw. _Absolutely beautiful_. 

Dave’s never kissed another man before. 

But the moment his lips touch Klaus’s, something _snaps_ into place, makes itself home deep inside his chest. 

(Later, when he’s holding a softly snoring Klaus in his arms, he’ll realize what it is. Later, he’ll have a panic attack in the bathroom of a shitty motel room while a beautiful man is asleep in the bed, because he promised himself he’d never feel like this again.) 

(He didn’t know it was possible to fall in love this fast.)

*

“Can’t sleep?” Dave asks, wandering up behind Klaus and winding his arms around his waist, tucking his chin onto his shoulder, slipping his hands beneath Klaus’s shirt to absently rub over the toned muscles of his stomach. 

Klaus hums and leans back into the warmth of Dave’s body, curls tickling Dave’s cheek. 

“Sure can’t,” Klaus says cheerily. “What’s new?” 

Dave doesn’t say anything, just presses a kiss to the delicate skin of Klaus’s throat, lets his lips rest over his pulse point to feel the steady beat of his heart. 

“Careful, soldier,” Klaus says, but the protest is half hearted at best. “Someone might see.” 

Dave snorts. “Charlie is on watch tonight. Only thing he’s seein’ is the back of his eyelids.” 

“ _Oh_ ,” Klaus perks up, suddenly much more interested and Dave can’t help but chuckle. “Want to go make out by the fire, then?” 

Dave can’t help the jolt that goes through him, the nervous butterflies in his stomach even as he nods, because no matter how many times they do this, there’s always that lingering fear that _this time_ they’ll be caught.

It would be worth it, though, Dave realizes, if only just for how brightly Klaus smiles. 

*

Klaus has tucked himself into Dave’s arms, sleep warm and pliant. 

They’ve managed to get a night away from their platoon and Dave paid for a sketchy motel room that charges by the hour and doesn’t ask any questions. 

It’s a stormy night, the rain pitter-pattering against the windows and thunder booming in the distance, the room occasionally lighting up when lightning flashes outside. 

Dave has never really liked storms, doesn’t like how loud they are, but Klaus absolutely _loves_ them and has a bad habit of standing in the rain until he’s sniffling and trembling.

And he had; he’d stood outside for nearly an hour, head tipped back, water sluicing off his body as thunder and lightning rattled the sky around him. 

By the time he’d finally joined Dave in the room, he was shivering violently but had such a big smile on his face that Dave couldn’t bear saying anything, just ran him a warm bath and made him a mug of tea. 

Klaus hadn’t even bothered putting anything more than his underwear back on after he’d finished his bath, before climbing into bed with Dave and almost immediately falling asleep with a sleepy “I love you” whispered into Dave’s lips. 

Dave stares down at him, now, at the beautiful man curled up in his arms. 

It still scares him, sometimes, despite having been in a relationship for just over six months now, how in love he is with Klaus. 

Dave didn’t know it was possible to love one person this much, but Klaus is forever exceeding his expectations. 

Klaus softens every edge of the world around him. People gravitate towards him, a lone light in the darkness; a bit of respite in a harsh and cruel war, a gentle presence that people can’t help but be endeared by. 

And he’s worked his way beneath Dave’s skin and settled into his heart like he belongs there (he does, Dave knows it like he knows the sky is blue; an indisputable fact of life. The sky is blue, and Dave belongs with Klaus). 

Dave tucks his face into Klaus’s damp hair and murmurs, “Someday, I’m gonna ask you to be mine forever.” 

He knows they can’t get married, he _knows_ that, but Klaus says things are different in his time. It baffles Dave, really, but he knows Klaus wouldn’t lie to him. 

He can’t marry Klaus here, but _maybe_ they still can. If Klaus can live happily outside of his time, Dave can too, can’t he? 

Everything he needs is right here, wrapped around him like an octopus. It’s really not much of a choice, is it?

He loves Klaus with every inch of his being, and the craziest part is that Klaus loves him, too, maybe even more than himself (there’s ice around Klaus’s heart, solid and impenetrable, but Dave has somehow managed to get past it, to settle into the warmth and brightness and he hopes, someday, he’ll figure out how to melt it).

It’s both terrifying and exhilarating, being the center of Klaus’s world (even though Dave is pretty sure Klaus is the center of the whole goddamn universe). 

The span of Dave’s entire life has narrowed down to _maybe_ and _someday_ , and it’s not as scary as it should be.

(Dave doesn’t know it yet, but he _is_ melting the ice around Klaus’s heart. There’s a fissure now, and flowers are starting to grow in it, young and tentative and struggling to bloom, but vibrant and vivacious and _beautiful_.) 

*

A cold front had swept through last night, taking them by surprise; a treasure among their unit for how few and far between they are and somehow, miraculously, they’ve managed to secure themselves a three day leave to actually _enjoy_ it. 

Everyone branches off, some in groups and some alone, and Sanders shoots Dave a knowing look that has his heart stuttering to a stop in his chest when Klaus mumbles something to the rest of their unit about showing Dave the wonders of Vietnamese food and all but drags him away (Sanders doesn’t say anything, though, and suddenly the full blown mental break he’d had when they’d dragged Jackson’s body back last month makes a lot more sense). 

(Later, as they’re shuffling back onto the bus, Sanders will clap a hand on Dave’s shoulder just a little too aggressively. 

“He’s a good one, Katz,” he’ll say, voice soft and eyes hard. “Don’t go pulling some stupid shit and breaking his heart, you hear me?” 

“I would never,” Dave will say earnestly, and he’ll mean it because it’s true, because he’d rather shoot off his own foot than break Klaus’s heart. 

Sanders will smile, tight and pained, and say, “You ain’t the only whose made promises they didn’t keep,” and then his fingers will move to fiddle absently with the worn picture of Jackson he keeps tucked into the breast pocket of his jacket. 

Dave won’t have anything to say, after that.) 

When Klaus and Dave make it to their motel, Klaus suddenly springs a single red rose from...somewhere, and shoves it in Dave’s face with a beaming smile. 

“Happy nine months!” He says, and Dave’s chest goes warm and ooey-gooey like melted chocolate. 

“Happy nine months,” Dave says, and pulls out the ring. 

Klaus’s entire body freezes, eyes going wide, and Dave feels panic start to swell so hot and heavy in his throat that he can’t breathe past it. 

“I-” he starts, trying to find a way to justify it, to take it back, _something_ , because he can’t lose Klaus, not now, not ever- 

“No one would let us,” Klaus says, but his trembling fingers reach out to take the velvet box anyways. 

Oh. 

Dave smiles, soft and sweet, and says, “Well, not _here_.” 

Klaus blinks at him, uncomprehending, but Dave can see the moment it clicks into place and then Klaus is gaping at him, breathless and awestruck, and Dave smiles. 

“You- the future, Dave? Really?” 

Dave nods, because _yes_ , because somehow it was both the hardest and the easiest decision he’d ever made. “I want to be with you,” he says easily. “In every way I can be. And if I gotta go to the future to make that happen, then I will.” 

“It’s- it's not that simple, Dave, you can’t- you can’t make a decision like this o-on a _whim_! It’s fucking time travel!” 

Dave takes his hands and murmurs, “breathe, darlin’,” and waits patiently as Klaus starts counting his breaths, in seven and out seven, until he stops hyperventilating. 

“It wasn’t on a whim,” Dave says gently. “Nothin’ involving you is made on a whim. You made a life for yourself here. Why can’t I do that there?” 

“I made a life here for _you_ ,” Klaus points out weakly. 

Dave hums. “Exactly.” 

Klaus stares at him and then, slowly, holds his left hand out. 

“Well?” He says haughtily. “It isn’t official until you put a ring on it, soldier.” 

Dave laughs giddily and snatches the box back, sliding the ring on, heart absolutely _bursting_ with joy and love as the gold glints merrily in the light, a perfect fit on Klaus’s slim finger. 

“I love you,” Dave says as he drags Klaus into a heated kiss. “I love you, I love you, _I love you_ ,” he whispers into his lips. 

Klaus’s arms wind around Dave’s waist and he says, “Once we finish our tour. Once we’re done, we’ll go back. Forward. Whatever.” 

“Once we finish our tour,” Dave agrees, smile widening when Klaus kisses him again and then spins away in a flurry of movement, skipping towards the bed and stripping as he goes. 

“We’re celebrating, Dave!” He calls over his shoulder. “And if you don’t hurry the hell up, I’m going to celebrate all on my own!”

Dave laughs and follows Klaus- his _fiancé_ , Christ on a cracker- to bed.

*

Three days later, Dave breaks his promise. 

There’s blood in his throat, bubbling past his lips, and he can’t breathe around it. 

There’s hands on him, turning and tugging until he’s facing the sky and a voice shouting near his head and gentle fingers in his hair but he can’t focus his eyes enough to see who it is. 

A face hovers above his, hands on his cheeks and Dave might not be able to see, but he would recognize that touch anywhere. 

His hearing is muddled, like sound filtering through water, but Klaus sounds- he sounds _devastated_ , and Dave tries to tell him that it’s okay, that it doesn’t even really hurt, but he’s fading fast and no matter how much he tries, he can’t get the words to form. 

_I love you_ , he thinks instead, head lolling onto Klaus’s shoulder. _I love you._

 _Klaus is crying_ , Dave realizes distantly, chest spasming with pain. He doesn’t think it has anything to do with the bullet wound. 

_Don’t forget us_ , he tries to say. _Don’t forget what your heart is for. You’ve patched it together so many times before. You can do it again._

He’s drowning, drowning, drowning, but it’s okay, because Klaus is holding him and really, that’s all Dave wants. 

He’s gone before he can even try to say he’s sorry. 

*

Time is...different, when you’re dead. 

It’s infinite and never ending; it flies by in the blink of an eye. 

He stays, and he waits. 

*

It’s been months or decades or maybe even seconds, but there’s a bright blue light and a voice calling his name, jolting something to life in his chest, a string tugging on his heart and Dave follows it, lets his eyes fall closed as it guides him onward (he knows where he’s going, knows it in his heart, maybe in his soul, and he doesn’t think he’s ever been more terrified, more enraptured). 

The tugging stops, just as suddenly and abruptly as it started, and Dave slowly blinks his eyes back open. 

“You haven’t aged a day, darlin’,” he says hoarsely, and Klaus laughs brokenly and throws himself into Dave’s arms and tucks his face into Dave’s neck and sobs. 

Dave holds him tighter than he ever has before and blinks wetly at the people gathered behind Klaus; six total, one of them glowing the same blue as Klaus’s hands (the same blue, Dave is pretty sure, as himself). 

“I missed you,” Klaus murmurs, and Dave presses a kiss to the top of his head. 

“I missed you too,” Dave says and then tilts Klaus’s head back and presses a kiss to his lips. “I love you. Christ, I love you so much.” 

Klaus lets out a tired little giggle. “I love you too, soldier.” He pulls back, wipes at his red rimmed eyes with one glowing hand, and then takes a deep breath. “Think you’re ready to meet my family?” 

Dave chuckles, tangles his fingers with Klaus’s (he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop touching Klaus now). “You kidding?” he asks. “I’ve been waiting fifty years to meet ‘em.” _I’ve been waiting fifty years for you_. 

Klaus’s smile goes wobbly and soft, but he turns to face the people behind him, tugging Dave to his side. 

“Guys, this is Dave, my fiancé.”

  
  



End file.
